Passive-Aggressive Colleagues? Deal With Them, But In a Nice Way!

Work can be so frustrating when you're dealing with colleagues who run hot and cold.  It can totally disrupt activities going forward and make everyone uncomfortable.  So how can you manage this and make sure you keep and build the relationship?

I suggest trying this.  Start with a well worded I-message.  I-message?  What's that?  Well it's a message that describes the behavior the colleague is exhibiting, how it's making you feel and the consequences it may cause.  An I-message is clear feedback that can open up a discussion on what needs to change in the situation.  It also focuses on the behavior and not the person. 

An I-message sounds something like this:  "John, you know, you have a lot of creativity, but when you make a suggestion that's way off the charts and changes the direction of the project, I feel like you're trying to sabotage me as the project manager.  It really makes me not what to continue to work with you or struggle to keep the project on track."   Most people when they hear this type of message will STOP and really consider what you're saying.  When this happens you can really get down to the heart of the matter and start focusing on what needs to change for both of you.  As the conversation winds down, restate what's been discussed and decided, and commit to working on the relationship.  

Passive-aggressive colleagues are not easy to be around but they are your colleagues and you probably need to keep working with them.  Using a well worded I-message can keep even the most passive-aggressive person on point. 

EMPLOYEE ENGAGEMENT - 2011

The other day I received the BlessingWhite Employee Engagement Report 2011.  They introduce their report with these bold words:  "In organization's every individual is accountable for his or her own engagement; anyone with direct reports must coach team members to higher levels of engagement and manage his or her own engagement; and executives set the tone for high morale and motivation plus shoulder the responsibilities of individuals and managers".  The report itself is 80+ pages but I'd like to share some of their key findings because whether we want to recognize it or not, as leaders, we must encourage our workforce to build a more engaged organization.

These key findings focus on engagement levels worldwide, the engagement-retention connection, key drivers, and the ways that behaviors of managers and senior leaders influence engagement.

• 31% are Engaged, and 17% are Disengaged.
• There's a strong correlation between engagement levels and age, role/level, and tenure.
• More employees are looking for new opportunities outside of their organization.
• Engaged employees plan to stay for what they give; the Disengaged stay for what they get.
• Employees worldwide view opportunities to apply their talents, career development and training as top drivers of job satisfaction.
• Trust in executives appears to have more than twice the impact on engagement levels than trust in immediate managers does.
• Managers are not necessarily doing the things that matter most.
• Executives appear to struggle with key leadership behaviors.  Engagement surveys without visible follow-up action may actually decrease engagement levels.  

Some of the key implications and recommendations state that to reap the rewards that a more engaged organization promises, your entire workforce needs to be accountable for their piece of the "engagement equation" every day.  As an individual:  Ownership, clarity and action; Managers: Coaching, relationships and dialogue; Executives: Trust, communication and culture.

Think about it, are you making sure your workforce is engaged?

To download your free copy, click on the following link.  http://blessingwhite.com


Regards, Marya

The Traits of Effective Leaders. Do You Have Them?

Effective leaders exhibit several traits that stay with them no matter where they work or what efforts they're involved with.  Check these out and see if you measure up.  

Effective leaders work with others in a way that makes followers feel important; they know how to sell their vision; they treat others like they want to be treated, they are willing to disclose their mistakes; if they criticize others they do it in private; they're where the action is, not hiding out in their offices; they are competitive so they know how to set goals and reward others who meet and exceed their goals.  They're also big on celebrating success.

So, where do you fall in exhibiting these leadership traits? 

Accel Now!

ME, MYSELF, I AND YOU - How We Think and Make Decisions

Have you ever heard of the term "Axiology?" It's a mathematically accurate assessment that objectively identifies how our mind analyzes and interprets our experiences. It identifies how we are most likely to react in any given situation. Ouch!!! So, in plain terms it basically examines "how we think" and helps us understand the patterns we use to make judgments about anything.

Thinking requires three dimensions of thought - Intrinsic, Extrinsic and Systemic. The Intrinsic dimension is unique and singular and involves people, love, feelings, etc. The Extrinsic dimension is more abstract and comparative. It includes elements of the real, material world where we make comparisons of good, better, and best. The Systemic dimension is more formal and organized, and looks at things as they should be. This is the dimension of definitions, what we consider ideal, our goals, structured thinking, rules, policies and procedures, oughts, shoulds...in other words, pure perfection.

When we take these dimensionS of thought into the real world we look at it from an emotional (intrinsic) , practical (extrinsic) and structural (systemic) perspective. For example, if you were planning to buy a car, your first line of thought may be from the practical standpoint - it must get good gas mileage. Your focus is on getting real results from the car so you can save money on gas. Of course, if the car looks good too and is well equipped, this will appeal to your structural perspective. Ah, but not ignore the last aspect in this buying decision. Can you see yourself behind the wheel of the car, looking good, and looking good to others? Yes? Well, if this happens you have now become involved with the car from your emotional perspective. In a non-stressful situation, these three perspectives can work fairly well together.

But, if you put yourself in a high pressure situation, it will change the interaction. In this case your most dominant prospective can take over and become the master of your decision, good, bad, or indifferent! So let me ask you this, when you look back on the decisions you've made in your life hasn't that sometimes occurred? Think about it. They've been either based on emotions, driven by pure comparative analysis, or steeped in logic to the exclusion of all else. Well, now you know why.

Now let's look at thinking from the perspective of ourselves. These perspectives include self-esteem, role awareness and self-direction. Our self-esteem is couched in our self-worth. This allows us to love ourselves and see ourselves as special, unique, and having value outside of our worldly accomplishments. We see people first, and we connect with them. Role awareness is self-application, the physical you. This perspective helps you see yourself in a more physical way. It takes into account the various roles you fill in your life. It demonstrates value in yourself for what you've been able to accomplish. It's practical, results focused and indicates significance. Self-direction is the mental you and relates to your self-concept of yourself. It indicates certainty in where you are in your overall goals and objectives and the rules you follow as you move strategically forward in your life. Information on how you think about yourself helps you understand the uniqueness of you.

So why am I talking about "Axiology", the measurement of how we think and react in a situation and how we think about ourselves? Because today's business success is measured in Human Capital -- the Right talent for the job! Lack of job performance and related employee turnover results in missed business opportunities and increased costs. Eventually this lowers the value of the company.

If this is what you're facing personally, professionally or in your business then doesn't it makes sense to seek a better way to accurately assess and develop yourself and your employees to ensure success. If your goal is to reach optimal performance, then why not have a way to better understand the core dimensions of how you and your employees think and make decisions. The key to improved results is having the right people in the right place, doing the right things for the right reasons. This is vital to goal achievement and better business results.

To learn more about our business acceleration processes, the Attribute Index and how it can help you get a competitive edge call 908-782-9948 or send an email to performconnect@embarqmail.com. You can also visit us at our website: www.performance-connect.com.

Accel NOW!

Adapted from a presentation by J. Niblick, President, Innermetrix, Inc.

The Art of Management

What's absolutely amazing is that because people are very good at their jobs, businesses think these same people will be great managers. WRONG! Whether anyone realizes it or not the art of management is a craft....something that is developed and built over time and with great care. If you're a great manager you link goals to results and make sure the flow of work is consistent and flows smoothly. Great managers are people who get things done, and they can have a significant impact on your business. Being a manager is very challenging and no one day will be the same. Demands continually change, priorities shift constantly, there's obstacles to overcome, breakdowns in lines of communication, and more human emotions that you could ever think possible. Great managers are gifted and they are comfortable with the disciplines of good management.

Good managers are able to optimize their management effectiveness to increase their team's effectiveness and, ultimately, their business results. They make sure that inputs are focused and efficient, and that they constantly remove obstacles to performance that can impede efforts toward achieving business goals.

Marya Grier, President, Performance Connect

NETWORKING - It's All In The Relationship

Networking, whether it's in person or on line, is becoming more and more critical to our success. Whether we engage in networks that provide formal or informal relationships or cooperative or collaborative interactions they are unique and important to us as we move forward in our professional and business lives. The idea behind networks and networking is to be able to help each other out. Because networks are comprised of individuals who may be experts in their field or seasoned professionals or who can act as a resource when we need them, they provide a variety of benefits to us that we cannot find anywhere else.

For example, how many of you are looking for jobs or are looking to change jobs? Networks can provide you with a sounding board for your concerns and issues around your job search. They can help support you by providing you with contacts and resources. They can also provide you with a reality check around possible jobs that you may find interesting but may not be for you in the long term.

If you're looking to grow and develop your skills they can help you stay current with new trends in your field. They can offer professional support and collective problem solving, give you ideas for out of the box thinking so you can create breakthrough marketing initiatives that will propel your business to the next level.

Even with all I've just talked about, don't forget that networks can also provide you with wonderful relationships and friendships. What better way to help reduce your stress and enrich your lives that the relationships you have with others especially when they are willing to share your successes and failures and help you grow stronger from your efforts.

Reference: Performance Excellence Through Partnering, D. Van Tiem & J. Rosenzweig, 2005

It's a Bear Economy. Don't Sit Back, Get Bullish About It!

Leaders, managers and business owners, if you're sitting around worrying about the economy, don't! It's not going to turn around today, tomorrow, or a few months from now. You're just plain going to have to live with it for a while. And, like it or not, we're in it until we're not. So rather than spending time fretting, why not get bullish about it and look at ways to improve your own personal outlook and that of your employees and others.

To help you, here are some tips you may want to consider.

Be optimistic. Remember, for every door that closes, another one opens and what you see on the other side could knock your socks off.

Believe it or not, this economic downturn will only hurt for a little while. It will get better, we will rise up from the ashes and for some it may even be a panacea of opportunity if you play your cards right.

Don't bury your head in the sand. Stay in the know, ask the right questions, get input from your people and make them part of the solution.

Be a risk taker. Since almost everyone is afraid to make a move, the effect of doing nothing can be devastating. Don't take stupid risks but test the waters and see if something comes up that could be even better for you.

Work closely with the people that keep you going. Whether it's your employees, clients, or customers, collaborate with them and work on new approaches to getting things done. When the economy comes back up, you'll be ahead of the game.

Reward people often for working hard, being there, and caring about the future of their jobs and the business you're in. It doesn't have to be anything expensive but it does have to be given sincerely and given freely.

Plan strategically for what comes next and include your best people in the activity. It gives them an opportunity to think strategically, to work on short and long range goals, and to see themselves as part of the future of the business going forward.

So I ask you, are you going to be a bear, curled up in your den, hoping you wake up to a brilliant sunny morning, or a bull, ready to take charge and chase down that red cape to new and even better opportunities. Remember, the choice is YOURS!

Reference: Lantz, Gayle, Take the Bull by the Horns