I suggest trying this. Start with a well worded I-message. I-message? What's that? Well it's a message that describes the behavior the colleague is exhibiting, how it's making you feel and the consequences it may cause. An I-message is clear feedback that can open up a discussion on what needs to change in the situation. It also focuses on the behavior and not the person.
An I-message sounds something like this: "John, you know, you have a lot of creativity, but when you make a suggestion that's way off the charts and changes the direction of the project, I feel like you're trying to sabotage me as the project manager. It really makes me not what to continue to work with you or struggle to keep the project on track." Most people when they hear this type of message will STOP and really consider what you're saying. When this happens you can really get down to the heart of the matter and start focusing on what needs to change for both of you. As the conversation winds down, restate what's been discussed and decided, and commit to working on the relationship.
Passive-aggressive colleagues are not easy to be around but they are your colleagues and you probably need to keep working with them. Using a well worded I-message can keep even the most passive-aggressive person on point.
